David Seymour is the leader of the act party.

If you google Seymour you will find that he has Maori roots.

Now you will never hear the Maori party acknowledge this, nor any other leftist radical.

Frankly I think they are in denial mainly because he proves the left wing doesn’t have a monopoly on Maori.

Nor does the left have a monopoly on Gay people or even intersex people for that matter.

Now the purpose of this article is not to break the left out of their delusions.

That would be impossible.

However what I can do is help feed the beast.

So I would like to propose a far more “logical” explanation as to the origins of David Seymour.

You see back in the 80’s Ronald Reagan and Margret Thatcher were known to be close.

The internet has abound for decades regarding the possibility of an affair, and possibly even a love child.

Now with Reagan’s super potent Republican Presidential sperm and Thatcher’s super receptive Conservative eggs, success was all but guaranteed.

Now I don’t want to besmirch the reputation of these leaders of the free world. Not yet at least, I’m working my way up the ladder.

So I would like to propose that Seymour might just be the result of the worlds first ever “pay-wave conception”. In other words, proximity alone was enough to seal the deal.

Because of the potency… Seymour grew fast, gestation was only a few months, barely noticeable by Thatcher, of course in those old fashioned days the woman carried the child, in this day and age the
man has the choice! All biologists agree that men can have babies, because if they don’t they would lose their jobs! Yippee.

So Seymour was hidden, Palmerston North was chosen (logically) as a great place to hide him.

He spend his formative days on the mean streets of Palmy, or perhaps spotting eels from the banks of the Mighty Mangaone. Before Libertarianism changed his life.

Oh… This rapid development he experience due to parental potency would go a long way to explain why, even at the age of 30… Seymour already looked 50. Tough break buddy.

Of course it couldn’t be explained by his smoking. No harm in puffing a few darts now and then. It’s as harmless as the trans surgeries than he endorses, of course.